Nurturing Emotional Wellness: The Space Between Self Esteem and Self Compassion
Emotional well-being and the exploration of self-esteem versus self-compassion have become important topics in the realm of psychology. Dr. Kristin Neff, an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas (Austin), delves into this subject, shedding light on the intricate relationship between these two concepts in her thought-provoking TEDx Talk.
Her presentation was the basis for an in-depth conversation between VMRC residents and facilitated by VMRC’s Wellness Center professionals.
Self-Esteem: A Fragile Foundation
Traditionally, self-esteem has been considered a cornerstone of emotional health, often defined as a judgment of one's self-worth. However, Dr. Neff challenges this notion, highlighting its reliance on external validation and success. She emphasizes how individuals often resort to puffing themselves up or diminishing others to bolster their self-esteem, leading to behaviors like bullying and prejudice.
Self-Compassion: A Transformative Alternative
In contrast, self-compassion offers a refreshing perspective. Dr. Neff suggests that we should embrace our imperfections with kindness rather than judging ourselves positively or negatively. This involves treating ourselves the way we would treat a good friend, fostering a sense of common humanity that acknowledges the shared human experience of imperfection. Core components of self-compassion include:
Self-Kindness: Self-criticism is not a motivator. Show yourself kindness and gentleness.
Common Humanity: Understand that imperfection is part of being human. Combat feelings of abnormality that can be psychologically damaging.
Mindfulness: Be present in the current moment. Acknowledge the inner critic. Turn towards acknowledgment, validation and acceptance of suffering without undermining motivation.
Key Takeaways
The VMRC residents in the discussion gleaned valuable insights, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion.
One noteworthy comment was, “We should work towards being objective with ourselves.”
Another noted our intrinsic worth, stating, “We should recognize our worth and value apart from our achievements.”
The importance of self-care was also acknowledged with one person stating, “We should understand that self-care is not selfish but an act of self-love.”
Apart from individual reflections, the group discussion also highlighted broader takeaways, including:
Modern Modalities: The TED Talk format was appreciated as a modern and engaging way to convey psychological concepts.
Societal Relevance: The discussion was noted for being on-topic and in tune with current societal trends, increasing awareness among participants.
Practical Relevance: The insights were deemed relevant and useful for daily life, providing a framework for navigating emotional challenges.
Dr. Kristin Neff's TEDx Talk serves as a powerful catalyst for reevaluating our approach to self-worth and emotional well-being. By bridging the gap between self-esteem and self-compassion, individuals can cultivate a healthier mindset, fostering resilience, empathy and genuine self-acceptance. This gathering is one of many experiences offered by VMRC's Wellness Center. If you aren't a member, now is a good time to join. Call us at 540.574.3850.